BRADLEY BATES

Bought: 1/1/13 for $2

Record Grouch - Greenpoint, Brooklyn

Simon & Garfunkel always make me think of aging – and just how weird and beautiful of a concept that is.

My first exposure to them was listening – as a kid – to the Central Park reunion show. That means while Simon & Garfunkel had already become famous, then broken up to pursue solo careers, only to come back together, and then drift apart yet again – I was just getting into them through, of all things, a reunion show. Backwards I went from there, listening to their earlier stuff, while we all got a little older. In New Orleans I saw them reunite once more to play Jazz Fest – the first show of what was supposed to be a reunion tour, plans that were scuttled due to Garfunkel’s ailing vocal chords. Standing in knee-deep mud as I watched him grimace from one song to another, I had plenty of time to be distracted by the thought of aging.

It’s an idea this album certainly doesn’t shy away from – along with themes of loneliness, loss, and suicide. That and the fact it starts off with Sound of Silence, overdubbed with a backing band without Simon & Garfunkel’s knowledge, and thrown together with a bunch of songs which had for the most part already appeared on other records, makes for a rather jarring experience. But it’s a great album – and like a lot of things, just not everything, it gets better with age.

Bought: 1/19/13 for $4

The Bop Shop - Rochester, NY

Bolero is one of the first classical pieces I fell in love with. When I was in school I would take adderall and listen to it over and over again while I frantically wrote Spanish papers that were due the next day. The fact it helped me graduate isn’t why I love it, though that certainly doesn’t hurt.

I’ve read articles which suggest that Ravel may have been in the early stages of frontotemporal dementia when he composed this piece; one of the most common symptoms of which is compulsive behavior. That would definitely explain the repetitive nature of the arrangement. 

It’s fascinating to imagine a degenerative disease contributing to the creation of such an enduring work of art. Listening to this piece as it builds and builds has always filled me with a sense of purpose, and a belief that maybe I, too, could one day do something worthy of the memory of others.

But it’s also depressing as shit. I mean, Ravel composed Bolero with brain damage. What the hell have I done?

Premier League Aristocrats Table

1.     Matthew

2.     Mary

3.     Dowager Countess (up 1)

4.     Lady Grantham (down 1)

5.     Isobel (up 2)

6.     Lord Grantham (up 2)

7.     Branson (down 1)

—-Relegation Zone—-

8.     Sybil (down 3)

9.     Edith

Matthew

Bullish on the defense of his ideals, Matthew has nevertheless pledged to overhaul Downton Abbey from the ground up. He should be a contender for some time to come after he finishes revamping the training ground and youth facilities. Hopefully his stingy devotion to the wage budget doesn’t prevent him from bringing in the odd big-time signing from Brazil or thereabouts.

Mary

Edith’s stunning collapse at the altar gave Mary a decisive victory in the wedding derby. She continues to find joy with her attacking sensibilities, and should find herself playing continental football next season.

Dowager Countess

With Mrs. Levinson gone, Lady Violet should now be able to play more expressive football. Her clean challenge on Sir Anthony at the altar is a testament to her defensive capabilities and proves she is the anchor woman of the show.

Lady Grantham

This season’s campaign has been marked by a spirited approach for Cora. Her team talk to Edith after the would-be wedding may have been clichéd, but maybe it’s only important that she herself believes what she’s saying. It’s just that sometimes Cora appears to lack top-of-the-table ambition.

Isobel

Others around the league may criticize her management style, but Isobel believes there’s a certain way to play the game and holds firm to these standards. Mid-to-low table finish likely.

Lord Grantham

On the verge of falling into administration, Robert received a last second cash injection from Matthew. He’ll need to take his fate into his own hands from here on out, though, and stop concerning himself with the results of others around the league. With his level of prestige, a mid-table finish would be unacceptable to his supporters.

Sybil

Playing aimless football at the moment. Her best years are still in front of her, but she needs to shift her focus from making children to making goals.

Branson

Rampant nationalism is not unheard of in football, but hypocrisy has no place. If he’s to go on all day about the merits of the Irish League, he needs to just pack it in and move back there. It’s unfortunate that this season’s campaign is so full of hot air – and not much else.

Edith

She watched a disastrous howler slip into the back of her net as Lord Anthony spurned her at the altar. Can it get much worse for Edith? She may be the middle child, but she’s playing decidedly younger football than her years indicate and is now staring down the barrel of relegation. Moaning about her life to the servant Anna won’t help her position in the table either.

League One Servants Table

1.     Thomas (up 3)

2.     Carson

—-Promotion Zone—-

3.     Bates (up 2)

4.     Mrs. Patmore (down 3)

5.     O’Brien (down 2)

6.     Mrs. Hughes (up 4)

7.     Daisy (up 2)

8.     Anna (down 1)

9.     Alfred (down 3)

10.   Ethel (up 1)

11.   Molesley (down 3)

Ethel

There’s a quiet dignity to her style of play, even if her sex life is gourmet food for the tabloids.

Bates

While in prison, he’s begun to mold himself in the image of a Vinny Jones-esque hard man. He beat a clever offside trap set by his cellmate to frame him, and deserved his goal.

Molesley

Snubbed at one point by the lowly Alfred, then embarrassed publicly by Thomas’ misinformation, Molesley’s supporters once again find themselves burying their heads in their hands. Will it get any better, or will they be loath to see what happens next?

Daisy

Sometimes it’s better to be lucky than good, and after falling into Mary’s favor while netting a goal in the process, no one can testify to the veracity of this truism better than Daisy.

Carson

He’s reserved in his approach and stubbornly committed to bore draws and 1-0 matches. But Carson plays well within his limitations. Could promotion be a real possibility?

Mrs. Patmore

Mrs. Patmore allowed too many questions to be asked of her defense as she recklessly revealed Mrs. Hughes’ secret. A true flair for the dramatic works as much for her as it does against her.

Thomas

Goal of the week goes to Thomas, as he unleashed a screamer of an insult on O’Brien. No, no one has ever asked for her hand in marriage, but Thomas may begin to draw comparisons to that other hand, the one of God, if he continues this form.

Alfred

He’s starting to play with a bit more confidence, and he’ll need to if he is to avoid the comparisons to Peter Crouch.

Mrs. Hughes

A model of composure, Mrs. Hughes has handled her run of bad luck well. Now that cancer is no longer in the cards, she can concentrate on getting her fitness back for the second half of the season.

O’Brien

Her war of words in the media with Thomas guarantees this to be the rivalry of the season. Will have to do well to not come undone by his mind games, which can only be compared to those of Alex Ferguson.

Anna

Still taking a conservative approach to clearing Bates’ name, valuing possession over long shots. Whether or not it will pay off with the big goal she needs, however, remains to be seen.

Premier League Aristocrats Table

1.     Matthew

2.     Mary

3.     Lady Grantham

4.     Dowager Countess

5.     Sybil

6.     Branson

7.     Isobel

—-Relegation Zone—-

8.     Lord Grantham

9.     Edith

 

Matthew Crawley

Matthew is still adjusting to higher-than-usual expectations, having only recently established himself as an aristocrat and top of the table contender. Some early season jitters nearly cost him the wedding, but Matthew recovered nicely and could be one to watch if he accepts the large influx of inheritance cash from the oil-rich Saudis.

Mary

Clinical finishing did much to help Mary finally get over the altar-hump with Matthew. She looked splendid in her wedding day kit, and has so far played a very passionate brand of football. Prying a sizeable inheritance away from Matthew, though, will be a true test.

Lady Grantham

Not many could have handled Lord Grantham’s salvo of bad news as well as Cora did – she responded with a fine counter that displayed some lovely positive play. With two daughters now married, her supporters will be dreaming of further glory.

Dowager Countess

Many have touted this as a trophy-filled season for Lady Violet – but the early favorite would need to first overcome a brutal fixture with Mrs. Levinson. She handled herself well, keeping the defense organized as she absorbed one attack after another – even managing to deliver some of her signature one-liners in return. But the Countess will have to recover her confidence and play solid through the middle if she is to live up to her lofty expectations.

Branson

The newly-promoted Branson is finding it difficult to adjust to the Premier League. He looks a bit unsure on his feet, and the confidence that took him so far last season now looks fractured. Refusing to change his clothes and getting roofied may not help his survival in the top division, but if he does go down, at least it will be in an entertaining fashion.

Sybil

Returning from her loan spell in Ireland, Sybil appears to have lost some of her attractive, attacking qualities. Complacency may now be an issue. Can she recover her buccaneering form in time to make a run at the title?

Isobel

Last year’s winner of the FIFA Fair Play award for her philanthropy appears to be putting the same focus on sportsmanship this season. Lacking a talismatic difference-maker in the squad, her charity work may indeed be the only real hope she has of returning to a European competition in the future.

Lord Grantham

Grantham’s campaign opened with a howler of an own goal, as investments in the Grand Trunk Railway proved to be a massive tactical misstep. The Lord will have to do better if he is to secure continental qualification at season’s end.

Edith

It was obvious from the start this season would be a relegation dogfight for Edith. A desperate bid for stoppage-time fireworks with Sir Anthony ended when Lord Grantham executed a crunching two-footed tackle, though he quickly apologized and allowed play to continue.

League One Servants Table

1.     Mrs. Patmore

2.     Carson

—-Promotion Zone—-

3.     O’Brien

4.     Thomas

5.     Bates

6.     Alfred

7.     Anna

8.     Molesley

9.     Daisy

10. Mrs. Hughes

11. Ethel

Mrs. Patmore

No one can question her passion. She always plays through the whistle and has exhibited some lovely teamwork with Mrs. Hughes.

Carson

His supporters may bemoan the long ball style, but Carson’s pragmatic approach rarely leaves him exposed at the back. Until he finds a trequartista in attack, his best bet may prove to be playing for the draw against stronger opponents and become aggressive against the cellar-dwellers like Alfred.

O’Brien

Some inspired wing play saw O’Brien able to set up employment for her cousin Alfred. But some back and forth with Thomas – the master of mind games – will be a challenge to her overall focus.

Thomas

He’s made an enemy of just about every other manager in the league, so he’ll be receiving all their best efforts week in and week out. But we’ve seen him make comebacks like this before – he’s capable of outmaneuvering anyone from a tactical standpoint.

Bates

He’s a lightning rod for the tabloids with his off-the-field issues, but Bates is showing himself to be a resolute force in the league this year. If anyone can save their club from a potential prison yard shivving, it’s Bates.

Alfred

Newly promoted Alfred is off to a shaky start following a thrashing at the hands of Carson. At least his flirtation with Mrs. Levinson’s assistant shows he can score when the defense just gives it to him. Will need to take greater advantage of his excellent height in the penalty box.

Anna

Her play this past week was just a bit too bogged down in midfield. She looked uninspired in her detective work on Bates’ behalf – she needs to start seeing the whole field and play a bit wider.

Molesley

He has begun the season confident of his value to Downton Abbey – even going so far as to suggest he might be playing top-flight football next season. Don’t expect the odds makers to take that bet, however. It’s more likely the end of the season will find Molesley making a thousand-yard stare of total confusion.

Daisy

She’s shown flashes of what she can do since emerging from the youth system, but her lack of experience has been her undoing lately. A failed dressing room strike and being upstaged in pursuit of Alfred by Mrs. Levinson’s assistant leave her facing an uphill struggle this year.

Mrs. Hughes

The head housekeeper will likely find herself struggling for fitness all year due to possible cancer.

Ethel

Ethel has returned to the 2^nd tier following a year of non-league football. Isobel has offered to be her parent club as Ethel seems to be in dire need of financial assistance. But will she take it?

Bought: 1/1/13 for $5

Record Grouch - Greenpoint, Brooklyn

When I got home, I thought I’d been screwed.

The record I pulled out of its sleeve was pink, and the first words my eyes fell on were “Hot ’Lanta.” What kind of monster would switch out an Allman Brother’s LP with T.I.? Oh. Wait. This is the right record. Me feel dumb.

But at least this record make me feel lots of other things.

Whenever I put it on, I want to pound bourbon, chase that with PBR, then go ridin’. And I don’t even own a motorcycle. I’d have to take someone else’s. Every time I look at the cover, I’m overcome with an insatiable desire to just hang out with these guys. I doubt I’d last 5 minutes in 1971 Gregg Allman’s world. But I’d sure like to try.

The most memorable track for me has always been In Memory of Elizabeth Reed, and in particular, Duane Allman’s raging guitar solo that builds to a moment of pure Southern Rock-ecstasy.

It’s hard to believe just a few months after this show he’d be pinned beneath his own motorcycle; his organs crushed and unceremoniously revealed to be mortal. But maybe there was just no other way. I mean anyone who played an instrument with that intensity doubtless had to live the rest of their life in the same fashion – so I guess something had to give.

It’s a small but certainly not insignificant comfort that at least this recording happened first.